He may cool off in a few days and want to talk with a more reasonable perspective about things - and that would be great, but don’t lay in your bed crying and wishing for that. Your past does not make you a bad person, and it certainly doesn’t make you un-marry-able. There is a man out there who will appreciate that and love you even more for it. Admitting to past mistakes and struggles, especially one as sensitive and uncomfortable as this one, is not easy, but it shows a desire to be one with your future spouse. Not cool.Īs sad and as devastated as you feel now, what you did took courage. After all, he didn’t say, “Hey this is serious, let’s date a little bit longer and postpone the wedding.” Or “Hey I need to digest this and let’s talk later.” No, he said “deal breaker” and goodbye without even hearing you out. Yes, addiction to pornography is a serious issue, but he doesn’t seem to care for you in a way where he’s willing to even try to work through something difficult. Marriage isn’t always smiles and kisses because it’s a relationship comprised of two different and imperfect people. Ultimately, given his reaction, it’s good that this came out now before you two got married. I don’t know if you should or should not have told him about the pornography that was your personal choice. I don’t want to spring into fiancé-bashing mode, but what kind of guy ends a relationship with the girl he was going to marry in an email? Do you think there’s any way he just needs time? Or to you, does it sound like it’s over? What do I do from here? What do you think? I haven’t told my family yet in hopes that he will calm down and we can talk. Maybe I made the wrong choice by opening up about my past like that. There’s more to the story, of course, but those are the nuts and bolts. He promised he wouldn’t share the reasons why with anyone, but he wished me luck in my future life and I haven’t heard from him since. Later that night, I received an email from him saying that the wedding was off and that I should begin telling my family that he and I were no longer together. But before I could say anything, he just got up and left. This is an absolute deal breaker for me.” I was really hurt by that comment, because it was a past trial, and I was sharing this information with him because I trusted him and didn’t want to keep secrets. Before I could really even talk about it, he cut me off and said, “I was terrified that you would say that. I confided in him that I had a problem with a pornography addiction. My former fiancé and I decided to have an open conversation with each other where we talked about our past relationships, our finances and any other issues we felt were important to bring up. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.I was engaged to be married last week, and now I’m not. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here. Parental tools that are compatible with the RTA label will block access to this site. We use the "Restricted To Adults" (RTA) website label to better enable parental filtering. Protect your children from adult content and block access to this site by using parental controls. PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to your children or wards. Furthermore, you represent and warrant that you will not allow any minor access to this site or services. This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography).
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